It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
