whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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