real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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