I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
