White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
