he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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