I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
