I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I need a hoe opinion
go on
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
