Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
