Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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