yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I cut my penus on the lid.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
