I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
