so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
