I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
