yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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