I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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