Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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