wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
