She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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