uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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