He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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