well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
