i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
