So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
