windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
