Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
