you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Soap is not a condiment
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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