smell my finger.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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