Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
