Your face is a jimmy john
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
