Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
