if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
