Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
