id be glad to
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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