i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
