All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
