If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
