i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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