My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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