Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Nicole vs. Life
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
