Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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