So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
