I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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