Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So vagazzling was a success
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
