you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Can you bring me the toilet please
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
