my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
