my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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