I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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