She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
40s are totally the cure
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
