Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
