Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
